Let's Have Some Happy

Utah Valley is probably one of THE WORST places to live when you're trying to have a baby. Every time I go out there are hordes of pregnant 20 year olds and droopy eyed college students toting toddlers and pushing strollers.  Excuse me, not only have I graduated college, I've also lived more years since high school than I spent there. Where's my baby prize?  One time when Felipe and I went to the dollar theater there was a group of 16-18 year olds in the parking lot smoking, skateboarding, and being obnoxious while an infant in a car seat watched from the sidewalk. When Felipe and I walked past the group, one of the teenagers hid the baby behind a column, causing another teenager a few seconds later to turn around and ask where his baby was.  I wanted to take that baby and run. Wouldn't I have been a better parent? At times like that I would sometimes ask God wouldn't He have rathered His precious spirit son or daughter have come to my family? I want to take all the babies and love them and teach them and protect them.  All things considered, I sometimes get down.  But I want the point of this post to share ways to keep spirits high.  I've compiled a list of activities that I like to do to keep from being depressed.  Feel free to share any other ideas.

1. I don't see any problem in having a little good luck charm.  I wore my current favorite shirt to my IUI. Let the luck flow!

2. Watch Psych.  I love that show! And who doesn't need more laughter? One of the episodes this season was modeled after the 1985 movie Clue, one of my all time favorite movies. What could get better than that? Besides being pregnant, of course.  Maybe when that happy day comes I'll watch that episode again and be at an all time happy high.

3. Declare a "we're not trying to conceive" month. Trying to have a baby means having a lot of sex,  and having sex as a means to an end is stressful. I don't think we even realized how much tension that was causing until we decided to stop focusing on conceiving for a couple months and just let life happen. We didn't stop having sex, but we stopped planning and timing and focusing and stressing and obsessing and it was so refreshing.

4. Buy baby clothes.  Go ahead, do it! If your husband is like mine, he won't understand the need but he will know that it's important to you. I bought some outfits when we first started trying, back when I was excited and hopeful and confident that in 9 short months I'd be holding my child, and then I bought three more outfits the day of my IUI. It's not very expensive to buy an outfit or two every few months. And when we finally do have a baby, having a few outfits ready to go will save us some money after spending so much on fertility treatments.

5. Find something in your life that you can control.  For me right now, that's food. We buy mostly organic food, raw food, and everything non GMO when possible.  I've done enough research to convince myself that this is healthier than the mainstream, but I'm not trying to push it on anyone.  It's just something that I can control.  I can help my body be healthy, I can take charge of what I put in my body, and it gives me something to focus on.

6. Spend time with your husband.  Chances are, your day will come.  If couples persevere (and spend oodles of money) their odds of having a baby are high. And then, from what I'm told, your lives will change forever.  Your family dynamic will have a dramatic change and alone time with your husband will drop.  You don't want to look back on that time that was just you and him and regret not taking advantage of those special years. Enjoy that time because while having a baby will be fantastic, you'll never get the period of your life back when it was just you and your husband.

7. Try not to be jealous that every person you've ever known is pregnant.  Being bitter and jealous is exhausting.

If none of this appeals to you, find your own way of coping.  It doesn't matter what it is as long as you find a way to keep yourself from burning out before your baby actually comes. And if you're a burned out, terrible parent, I may just come and "borrow" that baby from you :)

Happy coping!