Cora's Birth

Cora's birth was such an amazing experience.  It was so different than Phillip's and I'm so thankful that I was able to experience it. I had Phillip unmedicated at AF hospital.  Aside from the details of the actual labor and delivery, I hated the hospital. I hated all the paperwork we had to go over when we got there even though I was in active labor, hating life, and even though we had pre registered days earlier just to avoid such a thing.  I hated the nurse telling Felipe that I couldn't eat every time he offered me a snack.  I hated having to get out of the tub when I was ready to push. I hated that their idea of delayed cord clamping was only waiting a minute or two.  I hated that they took my baby away from me to bathe and assess in another room, left me in the delivery room telling me that somebody would show me to our new room soon, and then charging us for every 15 minutes I spent there waiting for someone to come get me.  I hated that they came into our room every hour that night and woke us up each time.  I hated the feeling that they were "letting" me labor the way I wanted to.

I had been on the fence about a hospital birth before Phillip was born but for whatever reason decided on the hospital route.  When I was pregnant again we decided to tour birthing centers. The first trimester of this new pregnancy was basically spent in panic. I did not want to give birth again.  Phillip's birth was so hard and painful and I felt like it was just something that I poorly endured. But I also didn't want drugs or a hospital birth so....I just didn't think about it.

We took a tour of Birthing Your Way in Lehi and felt good about it. I knew someone who had given birth there and liked it and we had also taken a class there when I was pregnant with Phillip so we had at least a little experience with them. I contacted Carrie, our doula from Phillip's birth, and asked if she'd help us with this one, too. Then we were good to go and waited for the baby to be born.

Around 33 weeks I started having contractions.  They started getting stronger and more frequent so we went in for a stress test. They gave me some stuff to calm things down, which it did, and then we just kept an eye on it.  I secretly hoped that something minor would go wrong so I'd have to go to the hospital and having an epidural.  My heart of hearts didn't really want that but the pain and fear part of my heart certainly did.

I started scouring the internet for positive birth stories to read, and I found some great ones! They really helped me start feeling pumped and capable.  I re-read Ina May Gaskin's book and plastered my mirror with affirmations.  There were two things that I thought about a lot that really helped me mentally prepare for Cora's birth.  They both came from birth stories I read.  One mother said that if you're going to jump off a cliff just do it.  Don't spend time worrying about it. And I know that's silly but it really helped me.  I was going to do this and there was no point stressing over it.  The second mother said that the laboring mother sets the mood.  And that really hit me.  Phillip's birth was traumatic for me.  It was hard and painful and I was on the verge of breaking down the whole time.  I didn't want Cora's birth to be like that.  I knew it would be work but I also wanted maybe not so much to enjoy the experience (I felt that was too much to hope for) but I did want it to be a positive experience.

Wednesday morning, September 16, I woke up a little after six and thought I might be having contractions.  I was 41+2 and soooo ready to not be pregnant anymore. My friend (due a couple weeks after me) had gone into labor the night before and I went to bed in a bit of an angry jealous fit.  Maybe that's what did it! Anyways, I just laid in bed that morning and had a few contractions.  I knew our baby would be coming soon and that things would get busy so I just took the time to be still.  I really enjoyed being the only one who knew what was happening.  It was just me and my body, sharing this little secret. Felipe woke up around 7 and started getting ready for work.  I told him that I was pretty sure I was in labor and he made arrangements to have his work meetings for the day covered/cancelled.

I got up and rechecked everything to be sure we were packed and ready to go and started making breakfast for me and Phillip (oatmeal).  My contractions started getting stronger and got to the point where I had to drop everything and just concentrate each time one came on.  Felipe followed me around this whole time, timing contractions and telling me I really ought to call the midwives and Carrie.  I was putting that all off for as long as I could because I wanted to labor at home as long as possible and not spend a bunch of time at the birthing center waiting for the baby to be born.  By the time breakfast was ready I didn't feel like eating and just wanted to soak in the shower. I called Katelyn to let her know I was in labor and would be dropping Phillip off in a little bit.  Felipe had to finish the call because I had a contraction mid conversation. Then I called the midwife on call and let her know what was going on and texted Carrie to tell her I was going to shower and then would meet her at the birthing center.  Felipe woke up Phillip and got him ready while I showered. It's a funny thing but squatting got me through each contraction.  I must have done a million squats that morning.  I kept doing that in the shower. I'd enjoy the water, squat through a contraction, and then keep on showering.  It was heaven in there! I thought labor was going great.  My contractions weren't pain so much as they were power.  With Phillip each contraction knocked me over and took me down.  With Cora I kind of fused with each contraction and just let the power envelop me.  It's hard to explain.  But I just let it happen.  I didn't fight it and I didn't fear it. I knew each contraction was bringing me my baby and I also think squatting helped direct the power inside of me.  While I was showering I reached inside of me and thought I could feel the baby's head. It may or may not have been her (I don't know what else it would have been) but in any case it made me think it was time to get out of the shower and get a move on.

Felipe was really anxious for us to get to the birthing center but I really just wanted to take things slow and max out our time at home. I thought we'd have hours and hours. After my shower my contraction were so close together and very draining.  I tried to dress between contractions but didn't have the energy. I needed that time to just recover.  Felipe kept trying to (kindly) hurry me and I tried to explain I just couldn't.  So he ended up dressing me ha.

We left the house a little after 8:30. There was no way I was sitting properly in the front seat of our car and ended up hugging the seat with my butt in the air, powering through each contraction. Felipe drove like a (safe) maniac and we made it to Katelyn's house in record time.  I was in the zone, just focusing on keeping things together.  I almost lost it a few times between Katelyn's house and the birthing center, where I would start to whimper and break down.  Felipe would remind me that I could absolutely do this and that it would be fantastic.  Before labor had started I thought a lot about how I wanted this birth to go and tried to pinpoint what exactly scared me about it.  I thought it would help me to have Felipe tell me that I was safe and that I was loved, so when labor actually started and I needed encouragement, that's what I asked him to repeat to me over and over. I love who Felipe and I become when I'm giving birth.  We are a fantastic team and there's no other experience we could share that would give us this dimension of love and respect for each other. It's amazing to feel the power of childbirth course through your body and to know, at the same time, that you are so safe and so loved.

Carrie met us in the parking lot of the birthing center (along with a nurse, I think) and we all went upstairs to the birthing room.  It was about 9 by now and the morning light was shinning through the window.  The room was so peaceful and cozy.  Some delicious smelling oil was being diffused and there was soft music playing in the background (which was nice but quickly replaced by Mumford and Sons-soul music!).  The tub was full and warm and just waiting for me to slip in.  I wasn't feeling any fear or apprehension.  I was pumped! I was ready to go and ready to party and I remembered that the birthing mother sets the mood. I was so happy and just loved everyone that was there. I practically tore off all my clothes and asked them to check me and was so pleasantly surprised to find that I was already at a 9.  Throughout my pregnancy I imagined I'd want to go right into the tub first thing but when the time came I was happy to just labor standing up for a while. I squatted my life away for a little bit with Carrie and Felipe at my side. Carrie reminded me to just go ahead and push if I felt pushy and I admitted that I didn't want to push because I hadn't pooped yet that day.  Ain't nobody got time for public pooping! She reassured me that of course nobody cared about that, not even a big deal. I got into the tub and had a few more contractions.  I didn't really make a conscious decision to start talking to my baby, but it happened.  I just started telling her how much she was loved and how excited we were to see her and how lucky she was and encouraging her to come out.  I also really wanted to just kiss Felipe between contractions.  This was so much better than Phillip's birth.  When I think of Phillip's birth I see it in tones of gray and in darkness and cold and fear.  When I think of Cora's birth I smile and bask in it and it feels like how the sun feels on your arms.

When I was in the tub I was surrounded on all sides by people who loved me. I felt so much love. It was so peaceful and I'd even say sacred.  I'd close my eyes during each contraction and push against the sides of the tub (I was on all fours) and then growl/moo my heart out.  Then I'd open my eyes and pull Felipe to me and kiss him.  I wanted more of a soul kiss and he would just go for the little peck, so that was a little off putting to me but I never did vocalize that.  There was no room for talking! I started pushing and pushing and pushing and then started wondering if maybe my eyeballs were going to burst out of my head and maybe I would in fact push out my entire insides.  There were a couple of times where I would say I couldn't do it anymore and then the loving people at my side would tell me that yes I could and that I was doing so well.  And I would dig deep inside and gather all the strength and keep going.  One more contraction.  One more push.  Somebody touched me and told me to push their fingers out.  So I concentrated all my pushing.  I called muscles to the forefront that I didn't even know I had. My body was power! And then Cora came. Somebody told me to look down at my baby but I was concentrating too hard and just shook my head no. I felt her leave my body. Everything was heightened.  I was just so present. I didn't miss a single moment of her birth. Our bodies had worked together so well.  We were a great team! My beautiful baby was born and the power inside of my body dissipated, having done its work fantastically. I could hear the midwife telling whoever it was who caught the baby to hold her bottom down and her head up. I don't know what the deal was with that but I opened my eyes after a few seconds and there was my beautiful squishy baby.  My daughter. My baby, my daughter.

I turned around in the tub and rested against it while they drained the tub and waited for the placenta. The placenta came and they put it in a ziploc bag so I could move to the bed. Felipe and I just laid on the bed and enjoyed our beautiful child. Everybody loved on Cora and we spent time trying to fix a name to her.  She ended up not being named for another week.  It's hard work! Eventually they clamped Cora's cord and Felipe cut it.  They weighed and measured Cora and did all their assessing right there on the bed with us.  Cora was 9 pounds 8 ounces and 21 inches, born barely an hour after we go to the birthing center.  I ended up having about 2 stitches for a tear and they said I had a few "slits" (yeah...baby tears maybe? Idk) and could stitch them if I wanted but I didn't need it. It would only make it sting less when I peed if they stitched it, which, incidentally, I am all for, so stitch they did.

I took a shower and Carrie left and the midwives let us just exist in the room for a while. We ate snacks and loved on Cora and just enjoyed the moment. After an hour (or five, I can't remember) we packed up and headed out. I was hardly sore at all and my body felt great. I couldn't move without crying after Phillip was born and here I was, hours after Cora, and was going down stairs and showering and walking around without a care.  It was a dream.  We drove to Katelyn's to see Phillip and show off Cora and then went home.

Recovery was amazing. I was hardly sore and my body felt great (we even walked around Ikea four days later). Postpartum cramps were a mean trick but they only lasted a few days. Sitting down and standing up was the most painful part of my recovery just because my thighs were shot from all my labor squats. And here we are, 7 weeks later, enjoying our growing family. I wish everybody could experience birth like I did with Cora. There is nothing more empowering.

Don't You Quit

Don't You Quit

I love this message.  Trust in good things to come.

IVF Research Study

I received two emails from the Utah Fertility Center about an IVF research study they're participating in and thought I'd throw that information out there in case anyone can benefit from it. They're testing a new medication to see if it helps with IVF effectiveness and outcomes. If you qualify, you'll receive tests and IVF procedures at no cost, which is a great deal since that procedure is super spendy. "To qualify for the Thrive Study, a person has to have 3 Failed Fresh IVF cycles or have 2 Failed Fresh and 1 Failed Frozen IVF Cycles." If this applies to you, it won't hurt to contact them.  Even if you don't qualify for the IVF study they most likely have other resources and ways to help you. I think this is definitely something worth looking into! I've included the two informational fliers they sent me. I hope this can help somebody with something they otherwise wouldn't be able to afford and hopefully this medication can be shown to help others in the future.

Happy Two Months

Happy two months to my Phillip boy! He's getting so big and can no longer be considered a newborn.  He's definitely turning into his own little person.  He's also over 12 pounds now, just 2 pounds lighter than his 7 month old cousin haha.  And at last measuring, he was 5.5 inches longer than he was a birth. Felipe attributes Phillip's growth to my "nuclear breast milk". In any case, he's getting big.  He's wearing mostly 3 month and 3-6 month clothes.

As to new things, he just recently started drooling.  He doesn't drool a ton, but it's certainly there.  It's also common to see him sporting a spit bubble.  He's also started recognizing when he's being put in his crib (and crying because of it) and also recognizing when someone is coming into his room to pick him up (and stops crying). It's fun to see him more aware of his surroundings.  He spends a lot of time moving his fist in front of his face and staring at it the whole time, and he now coos at inanimate objects.

He will also coo at me and Felipe and loves being sung to. He loves being engaged and loves when we make eye contact with him.  He's also rubbing his eyes now when he's tired. He's certainly developing his little personality and I love it! We're still working on the whole sleep thing though.  That's tough. I wanted to end the co-seeping business because I just don't sleep very soundly with him next to me, so we're putting him to bed each night in his crib. It's definitely a gradual process.  I put him down between 7 and 8 each night and he'll usually stay asleep. If not, then it takes an hour of work and then he'll stay down.  He usually sleeps until around 11-midnight and I feed him again.  On good nights he goes back to sleep and wakes up to eat every 2.5-3 hours.  Usually, though, he does not go back to sleep and I feel like a jack in the box, getting in and out of bed.  He falls asleep easily but wakes back up as soon as we put him back down.  It can get very frustrating, to say the least. But we'll get there!

He has a lot of nicknames right now but the main ones are teeny-tiny, son-boy, and Phillip-boy. He just sure is great! Overall a very smiley, happy baby.

These are 0-3 month pants. So cute but so small for him now!

Phillip's Baby Blessing

 I am really behind the times here because Phillip's blessing was on March 1st...almost a month ago. So basically, half his life ago.  But I wanted to get this post up since writing in my journal has fallen by the wayside and I also wanted to get some pictures up.

Phillip's blessing weekend was really great.  My Dad flew in from Oregon and got to meet Phillip for the first time (too bad he didn't have any tricks yet...boring newborn ha) and we had a lot of family time, visiting and playing games with my siblings.  And eating a lot of delicious junk food. Ice cream and donuts will always be my favorite food. Sigh.

We had Phillip's blessing at the church on a Saturday because we liked the idea of just having friends and family there and not making everyone sit through an entire sacrament meeting just for the blessing.  It was a much more intimate setting and then we ate food and visited afterwards, all without having to caravan to someones cramped home.

Felipe's mom and her husband came from Idaho and were a huge help with getting everything set up.  They also brought Pastel de choclo to share, which is delicious. Also, don't be tricked.  Pastel de choclo is NOT chocolate cake, as my fantastic spanish skills led me to believe.  It's a bit like shepherd's pie. But still, delicious.

Those in the circle for Phillip's blessing were my dad, my uncle Jon, our brother in law Damon, Claude, Tavi, and my grandpa, with Felipe acting as voice.  An LDS baby blessing is a bit comparable to a Christening, but we believe that a child isn't accountable enough to be baptized until age 8, so we don't practice infant baptism.  Instead, infants are given a blessing and their name is made official for the records of the church.  I really wish we had recorded the blessing, but I didn't even think about that.  Rats.

With Felipe's Mom

I just love his teeny tie.  I fed him right as we got to the church,
so he was a bit milk drunk the whole time ha.

All the babies! My grandpa holding his two great grandchildren.

My dad and Phillip

Bathtime!

We didn't bathe Phillip for a while because there really wasn't much point and for the first couple of weeks I was just trying to keep myself and him alive.  He's a stoic little guy but seemed to enjoy his first bath and now will smile during them.  He is a super chill baby and is happy pretty much everywhere.

                                                             First bath: February 16

So content after his next bath: February 18

Bath time video we made to send to Felipe at work: March 4

Don't worry that my voice gets angry when I talk to the cat ha.

Bath time smiles!  March 10

                                                 My child may be the spawn of Jabba the Hut

He filled the tub with poop right after this picture haha.

All in all, bath time is a success and he doesn't even mind when the water gets in his eyes.  I have the feeling he'd be content to sit in there all day, as long as there's boob service.

Phillip's Birth Story (Part 2)

We checked into the laboring room at American Fork hospital around 4 am and Phillip was born at 11:22 am, after almost three hours of pushing, so from 4 am to about 8 I just labored as best I could. Felipe and Carrie were my champions.  They were amazing. I can't imagine giving birth without them. If you are on the fence about getting a doula, DO IT. She knew exactly what I needed when I needed it and just did it.  A heating pad on my back? Check.  Cool washcloth on my forehead? Check again. Some nice citrus bliss oil to smell? Encouraging words? A steady hand? Check, check, check. She was such a blessing to have and I really value the friendship.  She stayed with me almost that whole first day after Phillip was born, answering questions, helping me breastfeed, etc. I can not praise her enough. And then Felipe; just amazing.  A whole new part of him was born that day, too. Labor and delivery brought us closer together as nothing else ever has. He was at my side every minute of labor, pushing, and delivering. He was my rock. He would hold me and talk to me and told me every step of the way that I could do this. He never let me give up (and I tried to, very many times). He told me over and over how strong I was and how amazing I was.  And he didn't get mad at me when I got mad at him for reminding me I didn't want an epidural ha.  And he let me practically rip out his hair when I was finally pushing. There were many times when I was laboring in the tub where I would just give up mid contraction and start panicking, stop breathing, and start crying and he talked me through every single one. At one point Carrie suggested he give me a blessing and he did, right there.  I was on hands and knees in the tub, my butt flashing everyone, ready to give up (again) and Felipe gave me a blessing.  I don't remember what he said and I didn't make it through the whole blessing before having another contraction, but just the fact that he was there and could offer me that strength and comfort made a difference.  Labor was very much a mind game.  There were periods where I handled it like a champ, and there were periods where I just broke down and cried and didn't think I could possibly handle another contraction.  Sometimes, when I could feel a new contraction start I just wanted to run and hide where it could never find me.

Eventually I moved from the tub to the bed and was ready to start pushing.  Before labor I had always thought I'd like to squat for pushing but by the time my body was ready I was so exhausted.  I had labored all night and was tired and worn down from the pain and didn't want to be anywhere but lying on my side in that bed, wanting it all to be over. Laying down during contractions is PAINFUL. I had to reach deep inside of me a few times in order to keep going.  But I knew I didn't have any other options.  That baby needed to come out, so I just kept going. Pushing took almost 3 hours and they finally realized it was because I had a thin lip of cervix there, blocking things.  Either the midwife moved it herself or it just went away, I can't remember. But eventually I started making progress with pushing.  I expected to groan and strain and squeeze my eyes shut tight, but I didn't expect the intense pressure and pain on my hips.  That was the worst part of pushing.  Carrie and Felipe would massage my hips between contractions, Carrie a calm, quiet presence, and Felipe whispering encouraging words. There was one point where I was pushing and wanted to give up (yet again) and I just looked at Felipe and asked him to help me. Please, help me. Help this be over.  He said that was one of the hardest parts for him, seeing me in that pain and asking him to help me and there being nothing he could do. I saw him tear up and start to cry a little, and then I closed my eyes again and went back to making it through this beast of a thing called giving birth.

Carrie and the midwife were eventually able to convince me to change positions and they brought in a birthing bar for me.  Carrie and Felipe would put counter pressure on my legs and I would pull on a rope during each contraction and that's when things got real.  They brought in a mirror for me to see (which I didn't really want and had my eyes closed the whole time anyways, so it didn't do much good) and that just made it so Felipe had to watch the deed of the baby being born, something he didn't really want to see (who can blame him?!).  Having the mirror there was also discouraging.  Pushing is two steps forward, one step back.  I'd give a couple giant pushes each contraction and Phillip would descend a little, then move back again.  When the midwife and nurse would get excited when seeing the head and would tell me to look, all I saw was a teeny tiny hole with a little blob that would show for a second, then go back into my body.  So disheartening! I felt like I'd never get him out. And by this point Phillip had started moving around and kicking me from the inside, so that was great too.

After pushing with the bar for a little bit they saw that there was a sac of water between me and the baby's head so they asked me if I'd like them to break it in the hopes it would help Phillip come out sooner.  I really didn't care about the giant crochet hook looking thing they used to pop it, I just wanted him out. At one point while I was pushing I saw Felipe have a weird reaction and look on his face.  I semi wondered what it meant but at the same time didn't want to know because I guessed he saw me tear and I didn't want to know if it had really happened.  Turns out, Phillip's head was so big that he started ripping me up before even coming out and I had an internal tear.  What Felipe saw was a gush of blood from that rip. Phillip's head didn't mold at all on the way out, which made for a nice looking baby, but made pushing him out harder.

I can't describe what it was like to finally push out my child. Painful, surreal, exhilarating, empowering, exhausting...all those things and more. Spiritual, even.  After years of trying, months of preparing, and hours of pain, he was finally ready to be here. Pushing seemed to come from deep within my butt. In the moment, I was surprised at how much pressure I was feeling in my butt area.  I really kinda felt like I was having a gigantic poop. But the time came for his head to come out and every bone in my body yelled that I needed to push push push! And the pushing became so easy and fluid and natural, then the midwife told me to stop. Stop pushing! Just give little teeny pushes, super soft and easy. Everybody listen.  Next time you have a giant poop, try holding it in just as it starts coming out. Impossible! But I knew she wanted me to do that so I wouldn't tear, and I certainly didn't want to tear, so little teeny pushes it was. Once the head was out, everything happened so fast.  At some point somebody told me to reach down and grab my baby, and I did.  No questions asked. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world. It was so surreal.  One moment, I was pushing for all I was worth...then not pushing, then my child was on my chest. I just grabbed him and pulled him up and laid him on my chest.  My beautiful, chunky boy. I just kept saying "my son, my son" and had tears streaming down my face, and Felipe had tears streaming down his face, and Carrie was teary eyed too and it was just an amazing experience.  Felipe and I just looked at each other, our boy in my arms, and our relationship deepened in a way that I didn't think was possible. Such pure love was in that room. Carrie had been playing music quietly in the background the whole time and at the moment I first held my boy the hymn "I know that my Redeemer Lives" came on the pandora station, and it was just perfect.

They asked me before hand what we did and didn't want done when the boy was finally born and what we did want was delayed cord clamping, so after holding my baby for a few minutes they asked Felipe to cut the cord, which he did (although he hadn't been planning on it) and they eventually took Phillip to weigh him and put a diaper on him.  They did this right by my bed, which I was grateful for.  He barely even cried, that boy.  He just silently looked around.  I just stared at his chunky arms and thighs and marveled that he was my son.  He also wanted to nurse right away and latched right on, Carrie guiding me the whole time because I had no idea what I was doing.

I apparently lost a lot of blood and had ended up tearing externally, too, anyways, so while I was holding Phillip there were two midwives stitching me up and a nurse gave me a shot of pitocin and somebody else started kneading my stomach.  That was THE WORST.  And they did it multiple times right after birth, then every hour for the next while.  I hated it. I asked how many stitches they were giving me and the midwife just smiled and said it didn't really matter-not many.  Which kind of annoyed me but I was too busy with my baby to really push the matter.  I did wince from the stitches and they said there was no point numbing me.  I guess I shouldn't complain about the pain of the needle stitching me up after going through the pain of birth, but I really didn't like that either. Eventually they took Phillip to the nursery to bathe and do a hearing check, apgar test, etc, and Felipe went with him.

They had a hard time with my heartbeat being so high and losing blood etc but eventually left me and Carrie alone in the delivery room and every time an alarm would go off on the machine we would just silence it ourselves...shhh don't tell.  They brought me snacks to take Ibuprofen with and I ordered lunch and I just sat in bed and ate and visited with Carrie while Felipe and Phillip were away in the nursery. Back when we were all still in the delivery room Felipe was holding the baby and we were going over different names we had thought about.  When Felipe said "Phillip James" Phillip made a little cooing sound and we took that as a sign that he liked that name haha.  It was a nice coincidence, but he really didn't look like any other name we had thought of.  He looked just like a Phillip.

Eventually a nurse came and moved me to mother baby and Carrie and I visited until they FINALLY brought my baby back. We stayed in the hospital until the next day. Beforehand I had wanted to leave the hospital a couple hours after birth but my body was not having that. I couldn't move myself at all, my hip hurt so bad. I couldn't believe what I had done to myself and couldn't picture having a normal, functioning body again. I could feel blood flowing out of me every time I moved, and sneezing was torture. I was surprised at how painful peeing was and refused to think about my next poop. They also had to change my sheets because blood soaked through my pad, hospital diaper, and the puppy training pad they have you lie on. The second time I peed, I passed out. Thankfully Felipe was there to catch me.  I just felt like a gross, helpless mess.  And on top of it all I was now responsible for this completely helpless being.

Things got better, though.  I can handle the bathroom all by myself now, thank you.  And we're adjusting to being a family of three. It was really hard at first.  I had no idea how hard having a baby would be.  Labor and delivery was easy compared to the recovery and adjusting. It took a couple days at home before I could stand up long enough to brush my teeth.  And showering was a marathon.  I don't think recovery would have been as bad if I hadn't lost as much blood, but I did it.  And Felipe did it. He has been simply amazing. If we can get our baby to sleep better at night then I will have this mom thing down pat haha :)

Ps: If anybody is wondering, I did not poo on the delivery bed. Success! Also, some of these pictures may be too much for some people.  Sorry! But you know, birth happens. It's ok.